This is why we do it.  These kids and the smiles and the love and the good energy they give to us is priceless.

I wish I had a picture of when we came up to "our orphanage", they immediately recognized us and we were covered in hugs and smiles and of course my Santa hat was immediately confiscated, lol.  A lot of hard work went into this event, there were over 330 kids from 5 different orphanages sponsored, Ema Trinidad is the amazing lady who this huge event together and we were lucky to play a bigger role in the event this year. Our part in all of this will never be as big as the parts of the people who run the orphanages on a daily basis.  They give their hearts, their time, their all to these kids and we were grateful to be able to a part of this one special day where we can feel good about the small contributions that we make.

John and Shashi are having a cute conversation here.  Shashi is our special guy at Jeevrathni.  If ever there were a kid I would like to adopt it would be him.  I won't go into how this would be impossible here (another illogical mess of red tape that would never come to fruition) but I will tell you that we plan, and hope to always be in touch with the kids at Jeevrathni and do what we can to help.

You'll notice Bruce is missing from these pics, he has been fighting a flu bug for awhile now and on Saturday he just wasn't up for this all day event.  It was a shame because not only did he help pick out the gifts for the kids, but our little guy has also become an expert gift wrapper.  That's right, Bruce helped wrap all of the gifts, and when he wasn't wrapping he was making sure that my breaks were kept to a minimum and that I kept the schedule of getting the gifts wrapped and delivered on time.  He was quite the bossy one, lol.  

Wanted to write a longer post today and catch everyone up on all that's been going on, but we just found out this morning, that there is no school today due to the death last night of the Mysore King, Srikantadatta Narasimharaja Wodeyar.   It's really no different than snow days and rain days, and it's actually fun finding out at the last minute that both my guys get to stay home today, an unexpected treat! Will try to put as much as I can into this post but there is actually much more going on in my head that will just not make from "pen to paper" today. I've had writers block for awhile and was finding it difficult to find time to write when interesting and worthy events I had to share one day instantly get replaced by something else more interesting to share very quickly becomes the next thing I want to share and before you know it, all these experiences have come and gone and we were so busy just getting through and "living" them that I end up not having the energy or time to write about them regardless if they're good, bad, fun, happy or sad.  

To put it bluntly, life is passing too quickly and somedays not quickly enough.  Days go by so fast, and weekends even faster and I'm spending this week getting ready for our first visit to the US in two years!  It's weird.  We lived in Houston forever, and all of a sudden I was asking myself, what in the world are we going to do there for two weeks?  It's much different when you live there than when you are visiting.  We are staying with a very dear friend who is in the city central so I'm sure finding things to do won't prove to be difficult at all.  Mostly, we just want to introduce Bruce to all the best things leading up to Christmas….like?   Like buying a "real" Christmas tree.  Like the fun of picking out the "perfect tree" and getting it home and decorating it  and home (our friend has assumed us she will wait for us to help decorate her place), while singing Christmas carols and making sugar cookies and drinking hot chocolate (with Bailey's for me and John).  Driving down the streets where the best Christmas lights are displayed on houses and yards…..Christmas caroling, Christmas shopping and all that leads up that very special day when we celebrate the birth of Christ and being with our loved ones.  

I will have Victoria and Vincent and Bruce and John together.  My cup will overflow.  Once again another random post with thoughts going about everywhere, i guess that more than anything sums up my life here.  Chaotic, crazy, fast, moving in all directions all the time at once.  Goodbye for now.  I've found my mojo again, and will write more frequently.

Merry Christmas!
On \
Love

It's hard to believe that it's been such a long time since my last post.  I haven't lost my love for writing, just my love for writing about India.  

It's hard to explain.  India is a harsh mistress as my bestie so perfectly put it.  She's magical and mystical and frustrating and illogical and everything in between. 

It's either extremely amazing or extremely hard.  It's a life of extremes here and some days I am turned sideways and upside down and I don't know which extreme to write about so i write nothing.  I don't know if I could ever adequately describe life here.  It's more and more my thinking that you will never truly understand unless you actually live here and therefore it becomes for me, almost pointless to write about it. 

Still, I do have people asking me to please continue to blog, to post pics, to share more experiences about our time here.  So I'll continue to try.  

Today there is constant, loud, ANNOYING HEAD SPLITTING hammering going on above me.  Our ceiling has been leaking for months and they have finally identified the problem.  The stairs that surround our jacuzzi on the roof were somehow not waterproofed under the tile and there lies the problem.  So.....they are tearing up our tiles stairs on the roof and then will waterproof, and then replace with new tiles.  This was supposed to be completed during our trip to KL but of course it wasn't.  We cannot get a confident time frame of when the tearing up and hammering will be completed.  

They will be done when they are done and I will leave my house shortly and get away from the noise.  Bruce is at school, John is at work so the only one here who it is truly bothering is me.  

It's a bit amusing/annoying that every morning each worker greets me with a "hello madam" with their two hands clasped mid chest like in prayer, with a head bow.  Like I am some sort of queen or something.  Seriously?  I am smirking as I write this because yes, I would rather they ignore me and just go on up and do their job, but at the same time, it really hits me how different this would be were I in the states.  I mean just because they clasp their hands in a prayer like stance and give a short bow, is it really different than being greeted good morning by a construction worker in the US?  I mean it's basically the same. Right?

Random post. Yes.  But you asked for it. Haha.

Later peeps.

Bruce Lee my father

Yeah right.  Whatever man, when I was younger the one picture that I have always had of my father was a picture in which he looked a lot like Bruce Lee.  My parents split up when I was 3 years old I think, so I don't have many memories of my Dad as we weren't in each others lives throughout the years.  That doesn't mean he didn't play a role in my life.  He did. Only in my mind.  He was Bruce Lee.  My whole life I have heard the question "what is your background?".   I've heard it all, Mexican, Hawaiian, Spanish, Italian, Asian, Greek, Native American, etc, and just to mess with people more times than not I would agree with whatever their guess was.  Teehee.  But I always loved it most when I was asked if I was Asian because in my mind I kinda was.  I mean, if Bruce Lee was my Dad, it only stood to reason that I was some part Asian right?

And adding to the clues that Bruce Lee was really my Dad, I had the same birthdate as Bruce Lee.  November 27.  That couldn't just be an amazing coincidence right? The proof in the pudding for me was that my older brother used to act like he was Bruce Lee.  I remember posters, I believe he even had a Bruce Lee action figure, and of course who can forget my brother's numchuks? I also remember my brother's stunts of flying off the roof in a kung fu kind of kick while twirling his numbchuks midair.  My brother was bad ass.  I think he always landed on his feet.  More proof that Bruce Lee was our Dad, badassness ran in the family.

I remember my mother taking us to all the Bruce Lee movies that would play at the drive-in movie place we used to go to.  Now why would a woman with small children take her kids to see violent kung fu movies with lots of blood, crazy martial arts fighting and death?  Well to see their father in action of course. Duh!

Well, the years went by as they do, and I eventually was reintroduced to my real Dad, not Bruce Lee, and sort of just came to terms with it without even realizing it.  I guess that's what you call growing up.  Until that is Brandon Lee died.  I was crushed and cried like a baby for three days.  Seriously.  I know.  But it was so sad to me.  Maybe he wasn't my brother and his father wasn't my father, but for so long Bruce Lee had a special place in my mind and heart that his only son dying, just kind of, well, cut me deep.  

So years pass and all of a sudden I am pregnant with my third child and even though we made sure that after every sonogram we were NOT told if we were having a girl or a boy, the only name we had picked out, was Bruce.  You know why. (that's not a question).

Because I loved Bruce Lee.  Because Bruce was the only name that I wanted for our son if our baby was a boy.  There are so many Bruce's that we thought were super cool like Bruce Lee, Bruce Wayne (the Batman) Bruce Campbell, Bruce Willis, now we would add Bruce Specht to the list of awesomeness! 

Tonight we are on our way to Hong Kong.  Our Bruce thinks we're going just for Disney and for him to meet Woody and Buzz Lightyear and the Toy Story gang.

My husband knows better.  

“As you think, so shall you become.”

Bruce Lee.  

Yesterday morning as I was in the middle of "Christmas getaway 2013" planning I heard a familiar noise that I instantly recognized but I felt sure couldn't be what I thought it was….   I listened to this familiar loud buzzing and jumped from my comfortable spot on the couch and ran to my bedroom window.  I pulled open the curtains certain that I would open them and find it was something else but what to my wandering eyes did appear?  The neighbor's gardener using a lawnmower!

For those of you in the states I'm sure you are exclaiming with a huge "so what"?   This is very unusual in India, that's what.  Not just in India but in Malaysia we never saw a lawnmower being used either. Instead most gardeners use these big scissor like tools to cut the lawn.  They sit and cut.  I've never even seen a push mower in the past three years we have been abroad.  Hearing the loud buzzing, humming, roaring, however you would describe the rumbling of the lawnmower took me immediately back to the United States and all those Saturday mornings when someone's mower and quest for the perfect lawn would wake us up way too early.

Before I get to my "feelings" on hearing the mower, let me get back to the sight of the Indian gardeners trying to use it.  For the most part they seemed to know what they were doing.  Yes, they.  Two guys were helping each other along, one guy doing the work, the other guy giving him instruction.  Together they didn't seem to understand that the mower should not be forced so closely to anything stone or concrete. They kept trying to force it closely along a stone pathway.  I took pics like a peeping Tom out of my window, feeling guilty as I know it was their first time and instead of picture taking maybe I should have offered some advice? Naaa.  I'm a woman, it would not have been appreciated and they most likely didn't speak English anyway.

After a bit of wrangling with the lawnmower they seemed to get the hang of it and I went back to listening to the sounds of summer.  And you know what? I realized that I didn't miss that sound at all.  Worse I'm wondering if it  is going to become the norm and if those gardeners are the same guys who do the other yards around our home. If so, glad to know that nothing happens early in the morns in India!

Random Saturday Post.

As of yesterday (Friday) 4:00 p.m., a ban on alcohol has been in effect through the upcoming elections which will take place on Sunday, cinco de Mayo!  That's right, no alcohol can be bought or served anywhere until AFTER elections so I had to stock up on Coronas and vino and more Coronas for the upcoming weekend yesterday before the 4pm deadline, no worries though, I was able to purchase enough of everything:). Get through an election weekend with no alcohol? Not in this house. Wasn't joking when I said no alcohol could be served anywhere...that includes restaurant, hotels, pubs, clubs, any establishment that could normally sell alcohol cannot do so until the voting is over.  The elections.  Wish I could tell you more about them.  I know that there is a party with the picture of the outfacing palm of the hand (see pic to the left) and our drivers affiliation is the one with the lotus flower, which is actually the government that is currently in place.  I don't know how many parties they are choosing from, or what they stand for.  I have asked my driver what his party hopes or promises to accomplish (as he seems very passionate about his choice) but he just looked at me blankly and told me "it is good madam"! There are bribes galore going around right now.  We have been told that party representatives are going to individual residences and offering cash, 1000 INR per vote. For a family of 10 that is alot of money and each person will get the cash if they sign a paper saying they will vote for that candidate.  Election time is a "very happy time" for these people.  

Above is a picture of John and our new driver Lokesh.  Lokesh was asking us how bribes were issued in the US. This was fun.

Me:  So. John, wuuuuut? I kind of missed that whole conversation, can you shed some light on what you shared with him regarding US politics and what he shared with you over the current election excitement?

John: Lokesh was asking me how politicians bribe for votes in the US and I was explaining the current system of campaign  finance where individuals/corporations donate to politicians in hopes of obtaining influence in policy making, a key difference.

Poor Lokesh, I know he was trying to understand what John was saying, but it's just a completely different world and campaign finance was just something he absolutely could not comprehend.  He's not the only one:), yours truly still struggles with that one.  

Lokesh was telling us how the police will go and arrest those trying to hand out bribes, but then take a bribe themselves and things go on as such. He seemed to be siding with the "bribers" and thought it was bad of the police to do that.  We asked if any of the parties DID NOT offer bribes and his response was that "the good party has to offer bribe as the bad parties are doing it already".  John reminded him that If police go around and arrest the campaigners for bribing voters, then you know it is not right, but that is the system they have here in India, and so long as things function this way, India will never be able to advance itself as a country.

Anyway, it's an interesting weekend.  Last year on Cinco de Mayo, "Habaneros" at the time, the only Mexican restaurant around did not have any tequila for margaritas etc.  This year, even if they did they cannot serve.

Somehow, I think we'll find a way to celebrate the weekend.

Have a great one everyone, see ya next time!

Love.

Me

One of the things we realized while living in Southeast Asia is that a lot of "locals" don't own cameras. They love getting their pictures taken and then seeing the pics on your camera.  So with this in mind, we packed Bruce's mini polaroid camera with many extra film cartridges for this trip.  It was our intention to take as many pics as we could of the children we encountered and give them the polaroid. This has turned out to be the most wonderful idea and we have had our most beautiful moments because of this gesture.

In fact the biggest smiles we have received while on our second visit to Cambodia has been from the children we have taken and given polaroid pictures to.  See, they are used to posing for pictures from tourists, but for every single one of them that we encountered it was the very first time that they got to keep the picture they posed for.  There were some that were shocked, who had couldn't believe that the polaroid picture would just pop out of the camera and there were some that were so filled with joy and happiness over this that they could hardly contain themselves.  We met these two little child beggars at the entrance of the Victory gate where we stepped out of our remork to take photos.  They came out of nowhere and were upon me trying to sell me postcards before I even knew they had appeared.  I replied that no, I was not interested in anymore postcards but that I would like to take their picture.  They stood less than enthusiastically for the pic but once Bruce explained how the "magic camera" worked and they realized the picture was developing and that we were giving to them, they were so excited!  Especially the little boy.  He was so adorable.  I took two pics of them one for the little girl to keep and one for him to keep.  Before they posed for the second pic, he took off his bag of postcards, puffed out his chest and smiled so huge for the camera.  My heart was so happy.  John and I could barely contain our own smiles.  Our remork driver kept talking to them in Kmer, assuring them that these pictures were for them, as the little boy couldn't believe that we were going to let them keep the pictures, and t he driver himself was caught up in the moment as we all were laughing and smiling and feeling good all around.  As we left them, the little boy chased our remark for a little bit shouting "thank you!" and as I blew a huge kiss to him goodbye, he did the same probably not even knowing what he was doing but doing so with a huge smile….it was amazing how one polaroid picture could bring so much delight. It really was as Bruce described it, "magical".

This wasn't the only magic we saw this day.  Today was full of beautiful sights revisited and new experiences as well.

We have been to Siem Reap before, and the minute we got here we vowed to return  Return we have and we are still filled with the same wonder and awe that we felt the first time upon visiting.  Visit Cambodia, I dare you not to fall in love with the people, especially the children, the land, the temples, the shopping, the food, the remorks, the nightlife!  

Via this post and the following pictures, I will try to "bring you along" and share our very full, very interesting, wonderful day.  Looking at these pics and this post, I can't believe all of this was just in one day....we have been here since Monday, we leave on Friday, and guess what? We are already planning our return trip.  Christmas in Cambodia? I'm loving the sound of that.

The pics above were from our visits to the Victory Gate, the Terraces of Elephants and Ta Prom.  Before we hit the places above, our first temple visit of the morning was to Banteay Srei, this is also referred to as the "Lady Temple" or the "Pink Temple" because of the color of stones used for the building of the temple.  It is one of my favorites and this time, since we were very early and the first ones there, the guides gave us a behind the scenes, behind the ropes, tour. John and I both felt a bit uneasy about going behind the ropes but we both agreed that we may never have the opportunity to get that close again so we took it.  The pictures we took and the "feeling"  of seeing parts of the temple that most don't get to see was pretty intense.  Check it out. 



Okay, wait.  Me being random again, the pics below are of us before and as we headed to Banteay Srei.

Whoops! Me being random again.   John and Bruce just returned from the pool and informed me that it's time to get going, and yikes! They are correct.  Banteay Srei pictures later! It's after ten a.m. and here, unlike in India, things get going early. Restaurants are open at 6:a.m., stores and markets have been open for hours already too.  This is our last day, and one of the best things we will do today is sit at an outdoor patio restaurant and people watch, and maybe even be entertained like the gentleman in this pic entertained us yesterday.  More about Jauneee (our magic man, fire eater, entertainer) etc later.  Off to spend another wonderful day in Siem Reap!

We lived in Malaysia for approximately two (2) years.  So when our Airasia flight landed in Kuala Lumpur Saturday at 12:15 a.m., last week, I was surprised to hear my inner voice say, "ahhhhhh we're home".  I could physically feel all the stress and tension leaving my body and a familiar feeling of comfort and calm took over.  Nothing mattered now, all I could think of was I am out of India for a bit and "we are home".  Wuuuuut?  My friends and family probably don't know what to think of that statement.  Neither do I.  All I know is that in Kuala Lumpur I feel happy, stress free and completely at home.  Yes, I know we lead a very nice, comfortable life in India, we are truly blessed, blah blah blah.  I know, I know.....but for these two weeks that I am away, I am going to enjoy, indulge and not stress.  Going to enjoy traffic not being loud and insane, food at many different restaurants that feed the inner junk food junkie in me, (Carl's Jr.), malls that have many beautiful, air conditioned dressing rooms, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera....and just bask in the joy of being around good friends, making new memories and making the most of our time till we return to India.  Since last Saturday Bruce and I have traveled on Airasia to Kuala Lumpur, road tripped to Kuantan, Malaysia, got back on Airasia and visited Thailand.....went back to KL where we reunited with John and headed back out on Airasia to where we are now comfortably situated in Cambodia.  Ahhh Cambodia....no words, my friends, no words.  So incredibly tired..but so, so happy.  Don't know what I can write about again that I haven't already said about Thailand and Malaysia and Cambodia, but I will try. NOt tonight, but soon.  Till I can put "pen to paper" again, know that we are back in our comfort zone, enjoying this side of the world and we'll share our adventures with you soon.

Signed, I LOVE Siem Reap Forever,

Cyn

Somedays it hits me. WE LIVE IN INDIA!  It's surreal and fascinating and unbelievable to me that we are actually living here.  Let's face it, India was never on my radar for a place that I wanted to visit much less a place to live.  I read somewhere that living in India was a love/hate relationship and I have to agree.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, but one thing I never am in India is bored.  There are so many times while being driven around that I look out my window and take a picture of something that is so ordinary here but would be so unusual back home.  I'm smiling as I write this because you just see things here that blow your mind and make you chuckle and just like that you have another great story to share with your friends. 



The lovely ladies below were on their way to a political rally.  I had my driver catch up to them and I tried to ask them a few questions.  It was hard as I don't speak their language but the thumbs up sign and a huge smile goes a long way when trying to communicate. 

Here is your typical "over loading" of a motorbike...I never get tired of seeing these on the road and how well balanced even the most overloaded driver seems to be.




 I saw all these scenes outside my window, what did you see outside of yours?

Now onto some Bruce news.  This pic was taken at the TISB swim gala.  Bruce won 1st place in the swim treasure hunt event.  Cough, cough, thank you to our good friend Britten who captured these pics for us.  Long story.

Bruce's school curriculum includes swim lessons.  It's so great that they teach our kids to be comfortable in a pool and to swim and they put on a gala so that we can see their progress.   It was good fun for all of us and our kids did great! The cute little mermaid in pink is Stella, Jma and Britten's little girl. She is quite the swimmer and has the best collection of swimsuits, Barbie would be jealous!

Well, that's it for now.  Kinda running on empty today, it has been a non stop weekend and we are ready for a lazy day of nothing.  Till next time. 

Cynthia

This blog post was started over a week ago.  

"Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do."  The lyrics go through my mind every day here in India.  This morning (another 3 a.m. fight with sleep) I had an enlightening  discussion with my own daughter.  She wanted to know "some real life India stories." "Why are you not writing about the other experiences that happen before and after all the fun events and parties you go to?" she asked.   Hmmmm good question.  Victoria challenged me to reveal the "real me" that she knew I had not been sharing with my readers on my blog. She knew there was more to me than my party stories and as little as we get to communicate on a daily basis she was beginning to feel like she didn't know me at all.  My beautiful daughter asked me to please be "me" again and write about things that matter too. Ouch.

She's right.  I've been trying to protect my readers by mainly writing about the "fun things" the "crazy things", that we do here. Even when I do attempt to write about the more serious things, I play them down a lot. A whole lot.  I worry that friends and family will be scared and worried for us.  I  worry that they won't understand why we stay.  I worry too much of what other people think about my delving into "real life" i.e. the trip to Bangkok and all we saw there (yes I downplayed that post too).  My daughter reminded me that even though the stories I share might be hard to read, she would appreciate knowing all the truths. The good, the bad and the ugly.  She reminded me that she is strong and capable and that though some of my stories might be sad and make her cry, angry and/or fearful, she would survive them and be more informed and understanding of our time here.   I made the mistake at Christmas time of not giving her enough credit to be able to handle the realities about India and instead just told her about the fun parties, the traveling, my new fondness for designer sunglasses, etc.  She was starting to wonder "who is this woman and what have you done with my mother?"  She truly thought I was changing and NOT for the better.
  
So I dropped my guard and shared real life "stories" with her that involve my own staff.  After I was finished she said 

"I felt that India was negatively impacting you and I see now that you are positively impacting India." 

Wow. I pray I live up to her thoughts of me.

Anyway, I'm going to let down my guard for you too and tell you about how hard it can be for women and their daughters and share a couple of true stories this week.  Today's true story is about Gayathri.

I have a wonderful cook named Gayathri.  She is between 26 and 28 years old.  She's not sure.  Gayathri is sweet tempered and calm in manner.  After John, she is my rock in my home.  Her calm, confident manner grounds me and keeps me sane on days when I find India taxing. Always. But still waters run deep.  About a month ago as Gayathri and I were going over the day's agenda, she seemed quieter than usual.  The laughter in her smile was gone and her smiles seemed force.  She seemed on the verge of breaking into tears.  I asked her if everything was okay and she answered "yes madam, everything is okay".  I didn't believe her, so I took her hand and guided her to the couch, sat her down and asked her point blank, "what is wrong and how can I help?"  This question released the flood gates and with a big sigh and lots of tears Gayathri admitted to me that over the weekend she had finally snapped and tried to commit suicide by dousing herself in oil/gas and tried to light herself on fire. Her husband stopped her thank God.  But she was still very upset, depressed, and horrified about what she had attempted to do.  What had caused her to snap? What was so horrible that she attempted to kill herself in the most torturous way and leave behind a young daughter?  What in the world could be so bad?

The abuse and neglect of her own daughter at the hands of her in-laws and being powerless to stop it.  Watching her daughter being abused and the impotence that she felt on a daily basis over not being able to change things for the better for her own daughter had driven her over the edge.  To understand any of this you must first understand how things are here in India in regards to having a boy child vs a girl child in the poorer "classes" and regions.  It's so sad.  The boy child is prayed for while a girl child is not.  The minute a girl child is born to poor families the size of debt and dowry that will have to paid to another family to whom she will be married becomes a huge weight and worry.  When a girl child is born, the mother is usually seen as a failure and the quest for a boy child continues.  In rural villages a girl child can be taken from the mother and the mother in law will sometimes dispose of the girl by drowning, smothering etc  and burying her.  There are thousands of abortions every year if the ultrasound finds it is a girl child although ultrasounds are illegal for pregnant women in India.  This is not an exaggeration.  In very poor families if there is little to eat, the food goes to the boy child while the girl child is left to starve.  For poor families the thought of a dowry and debt for a lavish wedding that MUST be thrown by the girl's parents can be overwhelming thus girls are not celebrated when they're born.  After wedding negotiations a girl's family may be unable to pay the full "dowry" to the grooms family and after the couple is married the bride may be brutally murdered due to the lack of payment of the agreed upon dowry.  These are called "dowry deaths".  The list goes on and on of the atrocities and injustices inflicted on girls/women here.  

Within my own staff now there are no little boys in the families.  My new driver has three little girls.  His own mother was abusive to his daughters and his wife after no BOY child was produced so they moved out into their own home (this is not the norm here as boys are raised to marry, bring their bride home, where the new bride takes care of her new family and especially her mother in law).   Everyday we praise him for putting his wife and daughters first and providing them with good educations.  We tell him stories of our daughter and how successful she is and though the opportunities are greater and easier in the US a good education and not being forced into a marriage can make a huge difference in the future of his daughter's lives as well as his own.  We help with the schooling, and encourage and show concern over how they are doing.  As John says, we are just trying to show them a better way. Arrogant and presumptuous you say? I say come over here and see life for girls (not all, just the majority of the poor caste) here.  You don't have to look far or look too hard to see how difficult it is.  It's disheartening to know that no matter how much you want to make a difference, you're lucky if you can affect even one person, one family here.  They are so culturally ingrained in how they treat others and themselves.  Especially girls.

As for Gayathri's situation we assured her that we are here for her and will help her in any way we can.  That suicide is not the answer and that together we will come up with a plan to get her and her daughter out of that home when she is ready to do so, with or without her husband (whom she dearly loves and is a good man but torn between his responsibilities to his parents and his wife and child...traditions go deep here).  She asked why we would be willing to help her ….ah Gayathri….we are not blood related, but we care for you greatly.  After our discussion she assured me that she really was okay, that she regretted a million times over what she had done and that she would never go that route again. She was embarrassed and felt selfish and low.  I again reassured her that we understood how tough life is here for her and that we respect her immensely for the love she has for her child and for the wonderful person we know she is, we know that she is stronger than that one moment of weakness.  We are here for her and though I have always told her that, I think now, with a plan in place, whether she decides to go forward with it or not, she truly believes that she has a way out.  Her husband does love her, and has promised that this month of April, they will be looking for a different place to live.  Fingers crossed he comes through with his promise, but if he doesn't we will.

 "Girls become lovers who turn into mothers…so mothers be good to your daughters too."