This was in the headlines this week. Unfortunately it is not an uncommon headline or even a surprising one here in India.
Culturally a boy child is considered more valuable than a girl child. Boys are more highly valued because they believe they will be good providers and marry a girl with a good dowry. "Raising a girl child is like watering the neighbor's garden" is an old Indian proverb. This is because when a girl marries she is expected to leave her family and take care of her husband as well as his mother from then on. Although dowry's are illegal in India the system is so ingrained in Indian society that the tradition still exists. Girl children born into poor families are immediately viewed as a liability and financial hardship. If a promised dowry is not paid to the groom and his family some brides are horribly abused and even murdered, some brides are burned alive. These are called dowry deaths. In the case above, the poor girl was abused in her marriage from the get go. Look at her closely, she is only 19. When she was pregnant she was initially carrying twins. After the ultra sound her husband beat her severely causing her to lose one of the twins that she was carrying. She went on to give birth to a healthy girl baby. The father of the baby and his family were angry at the bride for not delivering a boy. His other two brothers had already given birth to daughters and his wife was told that she had better give birth to a boy. What is surprising to me in this case was that the family was not poor and considered well to do in their area. After his wife delivered his girl child he would routinely abuse his little girl and his family (whom they lived with) would encourage it and condemn his wife when she would intervene. They even demanded more money from her family as a punishment fee for giving birth to a girl child. Gender bias at it's finest. And the saddest thing is, this was an arranged marriage. She most likely never had a choice in who or when she would marry. Even now, after the funeral of her baby, she was meeting with her families elders so they could decide where here future was. The only certainty was that she was not going to be forced to go back to her husband's family. The plight of the girl child from poor families is a very sad and brutal. In villages many baby girls are killed at birth. Usually by the mother in law. "it's a girl: the three deadliest words in the world", this is a documentary about this very real issue in Asia "The brutal irony of femicide is that it is an evil perpetrated against girls by women. The most insidious force is often the mother in law, the domestic matriarch, under whose authority the daughter in law lives. Policy efforts to halt infanticide have been directed at mothers, who are often victims themselves. The trailer shows tragic scenes of women having to decide between killing their daughters and their own well-being. In India women who fail to produce sons are beaten, raped or killed so that men can remarry in the hope of procuring a more productive wife. You can read more about the documentary here: http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2012/01/16/it%E2%80%99s-a-girl-the-three-deadliest-words-in-the-world/
On another note, the husband and murderer of his girl child is in protective custody in jail. The saying "honor among thieves" or something like that, proved accurate as when news of his babies death reached the prison where he was held, other prisoners tried to kill him. His family has money so I am not sure that justice will be served in this case. I think it will but it's not certain. I did promise to share my experiences with you. And this is what I was reading about every day on the way to Bruce's school this week. It's sad, incomprehensible to me, but it is a real part of the culture here....the whole "not wanting girl babies" thing. But please note that not all families feel that way about their girl children. All of the staff we have worked with have girl children and they seem to love them dearly, only one of our cooks expressed that her girl children meant nothing to her and that her only concern was her boy child.
Please believe, this kind of thing won't break me.....it just makes my desire to help empower the woman here by encouraging and helping educate them stronger.
Till next time.
On another note, the husband and murderer of his girl child is in protective custody in jail. The saying "honor among thieves" or something like that, proved accurate as when news of his babies death reached the prison where he was held, other prisoners tried to kill him. His family has money so I am not sure that justice will be served in this case. I think it will but it's not certain. I did promise to share my experiences with you. And this is what I was reading about every day on the way to Bruce's school this week. It's sad, incomprehensible to me, but it is a real part of the culture here....the whole "not wanting girl babies" thing. But please note that not all families feel that way about their girl children. All of the staff we have worked with have girl children and they seem to love them dearly, only one of our cooks expressed that her girl children meant nothing to her and that her only concern was her boy child.
Please believe, this kind of thing won't break me.....it just makes my desire to help empower the woman here by encouraging and helping educate them stronger.
Till next time.
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